The Episode of Bluey That Changed my Life

I was raised in a community of "be with your kids 24/7 or you are a bad mom" and "you are supposed to love every second of parenting. Or at least pretend you do."

In all honesty, as someone who likely has undiagnosed ADHD, I get "touched out" and overstimulated. But for years and years I just went along with the script I was taught and figured blowing my top all the time was just a rite of passage.

When my husband insisted our two oldest go to school this year, I fought him on it. Because...how I was programmed. I do love being around my kids and going on adventures all the time. And yes, I miss that. But I am not an educator. And fighting with them constantly to get school work done was not beneficial to any of us. Which was the primary reason he thought it would be best.

What does all this have to do with Bluey? If you are a parent and haven't watched Bluey, go binge watch all of it... now.

Bluey is a revolutionary show that helps parents understand kids and kids understand parents. It presents everyday, relatable situations in a humorous, yet deep way.

Enter Chili. Mom extraordinaire. She gets down on the kid's level, plays games, is real. She has her own life, job, takes care of herself. Unlike most tv moms, she shows her humanity and needs. She loves her kids more than anything in the world. Yet she communicates when she needs to be alone and recharge BEFORE she gets to the point of blowing her top.

Sheep Dog (season 3, episode 11) is incredibly powerful and changed the way I think about my needs. She begins to be "touched out" and overwhelmed. Instead of blowing up, she communicates with Bandit (her husband) and the kids that she just "needs 20 minutes". Bandit, hilariously, takes his job of running defense seriously. Chili disappears into her room and closes the door. Multiple times, the kids mention trying to get to Mom. At first, they feel upset and unloved. But then a simple interaction helps Bluey respect Chili's boundaries.

Bluey: Mum? Are you in there?

Chilli: Yes, Bluey, I'm in here.

Bluey: I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you.

Chilli: (opens the bedroom door) You didn't do anything to upset me, sweetheart.

Bluey: Then why don't you want to see us?

Chilli: (kneels down to Bluey's level) I do want to see you, but it can be hard work looking after kids. Sometimes mums just need 20 minutes.

Bluey: I don't understand.

Chilli: You will one day, sweetheart.

We need mutual respect with our spouse and children. That's the foundation on which good communication is built. And good communication is needed to enforce boundaries to create mental and emotional health. Exploding on our family hurts everyone.

Sometimes all that's needed to break unhealthy cycles, is for your family to know...

We moms just need 20 minutes.